I stopped at Day 11.
I made a realization. A good one. I realized that this fear was basically a mental block that I just needed to unblock. As funny as it may seem, after recognizing my fear of the blank page, writing about it, and sharing it, I felt something clear up within me. Like the clouds clearing up on a stormy summer day, the sun finally and slowly began to beam within my brain. Ah-ha! That was when I looked at my doodles and thought ‘wow, all I needed to do was set up my mind, and treasures buried behind my fears can be discovered!’
So, here are my 11 days of doodles. Not going to lie, the first 3 days were difficult. My heart would literally race when that blankness stared right back at me. They’re not masterpieces, but they’re gold to me.
This is when I began to have the urge to try new “creative” things. You know? Like a child who finally learns a new move on their bike and is now always hyped up about it. That’s me at the moment. Just a few days ago my friend offered me to join her in attending this creative session. I excitedly agreed.
Which is something unnatural for me. I always find it hard to try anything new (especially in the creative arena) because I’m always afraid of failing in front of others and never being good enough like “everyone else”. As if everyone else was automatically talented and I was the only one in the world that sucked and had to work double extra hard to be talented.
Oh how our mind fools us at times.
All in all, what mattered here was not that I didn’t accomplish my 30-day challenge, but that I was able to recover from a fear that set me back quite a bit for a long time. And that in itself is a great achievement! I didn’t need 30 days, I just needed to acknowledge that fear, embrace it, confront it, and move forward. All I need to do now is follow these steps with my other obstacles as well.
Alright, now that I unblocked this amazing chakra and gained a beautiful little sense of confidence, I can trotter on to my next creative self-discovery adventure. Let’s go!